Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
