You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
