somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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