areolas are like halos for boobs.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
