Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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