and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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