After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize