you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
