Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
