My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
