found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
