Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
