we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Someone came in the potted fern
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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