I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
