i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
