So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
