well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
