this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
