last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
