Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
