Hey man sorry I got all grabby
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
