yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize