Rock
Scissors
Fuck
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
