it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I got inside last night via doggy door
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
