belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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