this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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