I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
