Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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