plz talk dirty to me
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
