I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
