he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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