you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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