Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
