Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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