No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
