just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
