Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
