I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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