It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
