The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
