I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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