Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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