Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize