I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
