Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We left the knife in your bed.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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