Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
