u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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