About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
