I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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