I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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