all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
