Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
