You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
The adults are the big ones right?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize