; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
