I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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