so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize