She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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