Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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