The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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